Father Christmas, Danny Baker and Arthur Magee

Many years ago outside Pride and Joy in Sherbourne Square in Huyton, 1967 to be more precise My brother Howard told me that there was no Father Christmas.  It was a construct, a deceit he said. Mum and Dad just buy the presents.  Christmas was never the same but in a good way.  Years later when Danny Baker was a fresh innovative broadcaster and I was enjoying this breath of fresh air on Radio 5 Live, I had another discussion with my elder brother.  This was to lead to an epiphany.  He took away the mystique and explained Danny's shtick and from that point on I saw Danny as a mere mortal.  I have never really followed his career since, choosing to use my time better with other less heady indulgences.

Last night my dear friend Arthur tried to explain why Barcelona had lost to Chelsea over two legs of the Champions League Semi Final.  I stopped Arthur in his tracks because I don't want to know the secret of why football works.  The pundits try to explain - fail miserably. The league tables try to explain. The Sun's Monday Goals Goals Goals Extra supplement tries to explain, but they all fail.  It is a riddle.  Why do Underdogs beat Goliaths? Why did QPR come back from 4-0 down at Port vale in 1997 after being booed off the pitch at Half Time to draw with a wonderful John Spencer equaliser?

I have no answers, nor solicit any. Barcelona cry foul whenever they lose and cite "Anti-Football" as the villain of the piece.  I would suggest to Messi, Xavi, Busquets, Thiago Alcântara or any other proponent of the anti football conspiracy theory that whatever the result. Football is always the winner. Because "football...." to quote very dear friend and guiding light "..is really fantastic"

Go Figure Guardiola, Alan Green, Garth Crooks, Jim Beglin, Colin Murray.........